


I don't want to lose you

by PhantomGrimalkin



Category: Incredible Hulk (2008), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, F/M, Hospitals, M/M, One Shot, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-18
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 13:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomGrimalkin/pseuds/PhantomGrimalkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something wrong with Tony Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't want to lose you

There's something wrong with Tony Stark. Plenty of people would hear that and roll their eyes and say 'of course', but none of them knew what, exactly, caused the great man himself to come to this realization. Hopefully none of them ever would.

 

Tony had always been one to sleep around, before the kidnapping and his life suddenly becoming too reliant on something that could fairly easily be ripped out of his chest and the nightmares. That was normal enough, he just assumed he wasn't one for committed relationships. Then his life went to hell and he suddenly felt sick at the thought of sharing a bed with a stranger when he suddenly had such a giant, glowing vulnerability.

 

Being with Pepper felt natural- she put up with so much for him and he relied on her more than he'd care to think. He knew he loved her. Even before his life turned around, when he took nothing seriously, he was certainly interested in a more-than-business relationship with her, he just knew even though he knew she had no interest in anything casual.

 

It should have been perfect, he wanted it to be perfect, but it just wasn't. Some days she couldn't handle not knowing if he was going to die in battle while she watched on from the sidelines, or having to fix things with the press before she could even pick up the pieces of her own life. Some days he'd drink too much. Too many days he'd have flashbacks and refused to see a therapist because he didn't trust them. Sometimes they'd just realize how little they understood each other. They fought more than they didn't, and he just assumed that his wandering eye was because of that. The few times things were good, he was too focused on keeping them that way to think about anything else. That's actually what ended it- not the fighting, the times when they were happy together. He had too much to do.

 

Those problems never happened with Bruce. Hulk, and in a sense Bruce, was right there for every battle. Bruce had no reason not to come on trips with him and ended up being an unnoficial body guard, one time someone actually broke into their hotel room during a business trip to attack Tony, and found out that the Hulk was very cranky when he woke up to a gun in his face. No one tried after that. He'd drink too much, and discover Bruce had switched his entire bar out with water and fruit drinks and teas colored so perfectly that he'd have no idea until he took a sip. (and had JARVIS let him know whenever Tony restocked, and they kept doing that until Tony gave up) He'd have flashbacks, and Bruce would stay with him and help him through and tell him how to do the same because Bruce got them just as often. They understood each other better than anyone, they understood science and being an Avenger and being a survivor and sometimes wishing they were just normal people.

 

They fought sometimes, everyone fights sometimes, but Tony quickly stopped feeling like he had to work to keep the good times going. They could actually just be together and be happy that way, and maybe that was what relationships were supposed to be like and Tony genuinely wanted to be with Bruce for as long as Bruce would put up with him.

 

Which didn't explain why he still kept fantasizing about Steve, why Tony would be lying in bed with Bruce, lazily running a hand through his brown curls and thinking how wonderful it was and suddenly start thinking how much more wonderful it would be to also be running a hand through Steve's straight blond hair. It wasn't a surprise that he'd had a crush on Steve, he grew up with stories of how amazing Steve Rogers was and the man was a particularly magnificent physical specimen (so was Bruce, in Tony's opinion, but in very different ways). Sure, they didn't get along great at first, Steve seemed like he had a stick up his ass and acted like Bruce would start killing people at the slightest provocation the way he'd get on Tony for teasing Bruce. But once Tony realized that Steve was only trying to protect Bruce from a perceived bully, and once Steve realized that Bruce _liked_ the way Tony acted- they started getting along great. And then Tony's plans of being happily, normally monogamous with Bruce got thrown out the window when Steve Rogers smiled at Tony. 

 

Tony tried to ignore how he felt or get distance, but it was pretty hard to ignore your teammate and friend without having to explain what was wrong to your boyfriend and teammate and lab partner. He tried to remind himself that Steve was still mostly from the 40s and very likely straight, and then Steve started talking about Bucky and got that crushed look on his face when he found out same-sex marriage _still_ wasn't legal and Tony stopped being so sure.

 

Then he'd spend the night teasing Bruce- both verbally and intimately- and his last thought before falling asleep would be about what a horrible person he was for thinking about Steve like that.

 

It wasn't really all that long before Bruce asked what was wrong, Tony insisted it was nothing. Bruce frowned at him, but let it go. Sometimes he would push again, but never too hard, because it was never a good idea to push Tony too hard. A few weeks after that, on a night when Bruce was out with Erik- apparently they knew each other a long time ago and made a point of keeping in touch and helping each other with work ever since the tesseract incident- after a day that Tony had spent alone with Steve that went too perfectly, Tony bought a few thousand dollars worth of alcohol and drank himself into oblivion for the first time in months. JARVIS called the paramedics, he woke up to find Pepper at his bedside. When he asked for Bruce, she told him that she'd insisted Bruce not be told because it'd put people at risk to upset him. Some annoying doctor realized he was awake and started asking questions before he could ask for Bruce again.

 

(Bruce would set her straight about this, it would be the first time she'd ever seen him angry. The Hulk did not make an appearance, he made sure his eyes didn't even turn green. Pepper found out that day that meak, unassuming Bruce Banner could be far more terrifying than the green rage monster and just how much he loved Tony Stark.)

 

When he was released from the hospital the next morning, he got back to find Bruce sitting next to two of the empty bottles, looking like he hadn't slept. Most of the bottles had been thrown against the walls and floor, Tony wasn't sure if they were like that before Bruce got there. When he saw Tony, Bruce just gave him a sad look before making his way to the living area of Stark Tower that Tony had set aside for Bruce.

 

Bruce hadn't set foot in it since they started officially dating.

 

Tony got himself a drink from the bar, not registering what sort of juice Bruce had put in the bottle as he threw it back like a shot of whiskey. The movement helped. The juice helped. The reminder of what Bruce had done for him and what he had to lose both helped and made it harder. He set the shot glass down before following after Bruce.

 

He found Bruce sitting on the bed, staring out the picture windows and over the city. He cleared his throat to announce his presence.

 

Bruce didn't turn to look at him, and when he spoke his voice was exhausted and distant, “I'm not sure which is worse- that there's something this bad that you won't tell me about, or that you really thought it was _dangerous, _" he spat out the word,_ "_ to tell me that you were in the hospital.”

 

A fresh wave of guilt hit Tony while Bruce started speaking, continued pummeling during the first part, then got cut off by a sense of almost relief. “That was all Pepper's doing, not telling you that I'd gotten taken to the hospital. I never would have thought that.” He looked down, “I wasn't up for arguing with her, I'm so sorry.”

 

Bruce turned around at that, “JARVIS said...” he stopped, JARVIS had only said that he'd been given instructions not to tell Bruce and why, not who had given those instructions. His eyes flashed with something dangerous for a moment.

 

Tony walked over then, sitting as close to Bruce as he could without feeling like he might get rejected. Bruce shifted over so their legs were touching.

 

“You still shouldn't have let things get this bad,” Bruce told him, placing his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes. “I shouldn't have let you keep avoiding it...”

 

“It's not _all_ your fault,” Tony pointed out with a half-smile, “I can be a little stubborn.”

 

“Just like the ocean can be a _little_ wet,” Bruce agreed. They sat like that for a few minutes, Tony actually thought that Bruce was going to fall asleep there. Instead, he sat up and turned slightly, placing a hand on Tony's cheek and forcing him to look at him, “Tell me what's wrong.”

 

Tony looked down, refusing to meet Bruce's gaze, “I don't want to lose you.”

 

The hand on his cheek tensed although Bruce's voice stayed even, “Why do you think you will?” 

 

“Because I'm in love with Steve.”

 

The hand stayed on his cheek but he saw Bruce lean back. He risked a glance at his face, but couldn't work out what the expression meant. It felt like an eternity passed before Bruce said anything. 

 

“I see the problem,” he said quietly, “Even if Steve is interested in men, I can't see him being okay with that, either.”

 

Tony stared at him. Bruce kissed his cheek with a peck that was a bit too quick. “Does that mean, you're okay with it?”

 

Bruce started to nod then paused, “I'm not sure if you want anything, or anyone, else, or what you want from Steve... some things I wouldn't be okay with, we'll have to talk about that. I thought about this a lot before we,” he blushed, “Before we worked out how I could have sex.” He glanced down, “What if Steve  _isn't_ ?”

 

Tony placed both hands on his face and pulled him into a firm and fiery kiss. Eventually he pulled away and smiled, “I already told you, I don't want to lose you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I've never had alcohol poisoning and (luckily) haven't seen anyone go through it, either, I really don't know how long you'd be in the hospital or what you'd be like after. I tried looking it up and just found a bunch of things saying how important it was not to leave it untreated... I don't expect that bit to be really accurate and I'm really sorry if it wasn't.
> 
> Tagged with "Stark Spangled Banner" because it's been going around tumblr that that's what the Tony/Steve/Bruce pairing should be called and I agree with it.


End file.
